


Curse Of The Villain

by DiYunho



Category: DCU, Joker - Fandom, Suicide Squad (2016), The Joker - Fandom, joker DCU
Genre: Complicated Relationships, Curses, Domestic Fluff, Established Relationship, F/M, Family Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Funny, Gotham City - Freeform, Hilarious, Humor, Humorous Ending, Joker - Freeform, Joker Jared Leto - Freeform, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, Personality Swap, Relationship(s), Romantic Fluff, Strong Female Characters, The Joker - Freeform, The Joker Suicide Squad, The Joker dcu, The Joker fanfiction, The Joker imagine, True Love, Villains
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-01
Updated: 2019-01-01
Packaged: 2019-10-01 23:41:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,980
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17253563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiYunho/pseuds/DiYunho
Summary: For one day in the whole year, villains switch personalities with their significant other: is it the universe’s way to balance itself out or just a coincidence? Nobody really knows but one thing is for sure: all henchmen have the couples they work for on lockdown in Penthouses and hideouts. God forbids they’re unleashed upon the world in the state they’re in!





	Curse Of The Villain

**Author's Note:**

> You can also follow me on Tumblr and Wattpad under the same blog name: DiYunho.

Today, Wednesday the 18th

6:41 am

You open your eyes, startled by the sudden switch in mood: it’s that magical day in the year when you’ll have The Joker’s personality and he’ll have yours. The King of Gotham is sleeping a few inches away from you and it instantly pisses you off; you are possessive also, but right now it’s off the charts since you feel what J usually fells.

Why isn’t he glued to you?!

You shove yourself into him, your fingers creeping up in his boxers so fast it wakes him up.

“Pumpkiiinnnn,” The Joker whines, uncomfortable.

“Shut up!” you growl. “Everything is mine!!” a crazed Y/N hisses and he tries to move but there’s no way to escape your grip.

“Ouch, that hurts,” he takes your hand out of his underwear and places it around his waist.

“But it’s mine!” you breathe on his lips and cling to him like a spider to his prey.

“You’re suffocating me, Princess,” your boyfriend protests and you just back your head a little bit, enough for him to oxygenate his brain.

“Shut up, I wanna sleep in!” you bite his shoulder, then his neck, the thought of him glancing at another woman making your blood simmer with jealousy so you threaten: “If you even think about cheating on me, I’m going to kill you!!”

“I’m not, I swear. I love you too much,” J kisses your cheek, being the one trying to please and reassure the Queen of his affection this time around.

Bless this curse! Otherwise you wouldn’t catch him articulate the words.

You scoff, annoyed:

“Pfft, love. Give me a break!” the angry Y/N having J’s personality gets worked up. “Love is crap, there’s no such thing!”

“That’s mean…” a hurt Joker kisses your lips, sighting. “You say such mean stuff sometimes…”

Yeah, only one day a year. He already can’t handle his own medicine and it’s just been a few minutes since the curse started.

“Zip it ! I wanna be lazy today,” you cut him off and spank his butt, yanking him in your arms again.

10:34 am

The Joker is definitely not a morning person but today is different: he has your bubbly, energetic personality so he’s all over the kitchen. Y/N is the grouchy one now while waiting for breakfast. Why? Because your boyfriend is cooking and he has absolutely no skills in the field. But since J has your exuberance and positivity, there’s nothing that can stop him.

“You want coffee, babe?” he sweetly smiles and places a cup of steamy goodness in front of the crabby girlfriend.

“I suppose so,” you lift your shoulders up and inquire: “What about my omelet? Is it going to be ready soon? I’m starving !”

“Almost there,” he rushes back to the skillet, adding more ingredients from the bags, boxes and containers scattered on the entire counter.

J is wearing a pair of black sweatpants, his hair gathered in a mini-man-bun-thing, a bunch of green strands rebelliously hanging around his face. He looks quite adorable, not that you would mention anything on the subject.

Not while possessing his temper.

More fumbling around and more condiments sprinkled on top of whatever the amateur chef is cooking, but it seems food is done.

“Here babe,” the dish is finally placed in front of a confused Queen.

It looks like somebody barfed in your plate.

“What the hell is this J ??!!” you ask, disgusted.

“Your omelet, Doll,” he leans over the counter, anxious to hear your opinion.

“Is this…is this corn?!” you play around in the mess, trying to guess if it’s remotely eatable.

“U-hum,” The Joker bites on his lip, waiting for you to take a bite.

“In my eggs?! I hate corn !” you sneer and the smile freezes on his face. “Are these…chopped grapes?!” you poke the mushy, gooey lumps.

“Y-yes,” he gulps, nervous about the eerie tone in your voice.

“That’s gross!” you snap, pushing the plate away.

J gasps, completely devastated at your reaction.

“Can you please try it? I added grape juice too,” a disappointed boyfriend begs, nonchalantly mentioning the ingredient like it’s the most normal piece to add to an omelet. “Took me almost 30 minutes to put it together…”

You have no intention of touching the poison, yet you make an effort because he seems completely overwhelmed. You hesitantly take the fork to your mouth, slowly chewing on the morsel.

“This is the worse breakfast I ever had in my life,” you justly conclude, almost gagging since it tastes at terrible as you thought it would.

The Joker is heartbroken and you can tell, that’s why you decide to cut him some slack.

“You’re lucky you’re cute though, it compensates for your horrible cooking,” you stare him down, mad for some reason.

“You think I’m cute?” he shyly blinks, tucking some of the rebel green strands behind his ear.

“I suppose so,” you sigh, bored with the dialogue.

“How cute?” J impatiently wants to know, starting to eat from your plate like it’s the best culinary achievement of the year.

It makes you nauseated.

“Cute enough to keep me interested,” you mutter. “You know there are other guys on this planet besides you, right? You’re not all that,” the grumpy Y/N brings to his knowledge. “You’re incredibly fortunate I’m still here !”

He stops eating.

“That’s…that’s the cruelest thing somebody has ever said to me…” the mortified boyfriend pouts and returns by the stove, starting to clean the mess he made with his shitty breakfast. He’s silent and keeps on sniffling while you feel strange: it’s whatever J feels when he upsets you and doesn’t know how to make it better.

You get up from your chair and slide between him and the counter, groping him as he sulks.

“What’s wrong?” The Queen demands an explanation from her man.

No reply. He wants to reach for a box of crackers but you trap his hands and place them around your waist. The Joker avoids your gaze.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?” you get on your toes and kiss the puckered lips.

“Me…” he mutters, finally looking at you.

“That’s right,” you smirk and kiss him again. “Even if there are better guys out there, you’re my guy, ok?”

The grin on his face! Similar to a four year old’s that found his favorite toy.

“Ok…”

“Now stop your nonsense and go change into something nice!” you grope him again and head towards the living room.

12:03 pm

“Nope,” you glance at the new attire he put together. “I don’t approve.”

You already sent him to change clothes twice.

“But what I am supposed to wear, Pumpkin?!” J flares his arms around, frustrated you are so hard to please.

Damn right you are since you have his charismatic personality!

“Drop the attitude!” you growl, pointing the finger at him. “Since you have no idea what you’re doing, go change in pair of black pants and that purple shirt I like.”

“But I think I should…” he tries to have a comeback.

“GO!!!” you raise your voice, displeased with the small rebellion.

He stomps on the way towards the walk-in closet and Y/N is not happy:

“I said drop the attitude!!!”

In 10 minutes he’s back in the living room, only has the pants on and wants to put on the shirt when he sees himself in the huge mirror you two have set up in the living room. The Joker frowns, ditching the shirt on the couch nearby and touches his chest, suspicions. 

“I think I’m getting saggy,” he turns to the left, then to the right, analyzing his reflection.

J has your personality traits so insecurity is included as bonus!

He squeezes his chest together, then flexes his muscles, examining his butt shape too in the process.

“You’re not saggy; you look fine,” you grumble, scrolling through your cell phone.

“Are you sure, babe?” 

“I’m sure; you could bounce a quarter off those buns,” you lick your lips, winking.

The Joker blushes even if you can’t see it with the pale skin tone that never changes color; giggles a bit, wanting to put his shirt on.

“Stop!” you signal him. “Com’ere.”

“What for?” he inquires and places the shirt back on the couch.

“I wanna sit in your lap,” you pat the space next to you on the leather loveseat. “A Queen needs a throne to sit on so don’t make me repeat myself!”

“But I’m busy Pumpkin,” J whines since he wanted to go to his office and research some details about a future heist.

“Busy?!” you sneer. “Doing what?! It’s not like you have a real job!!”

“W-what?…” he stutters, not believing his ears.

“I didn’t think you’re deaf too on top of everything else,” you go back to look at your phone, oblivious to his pain.

You hear The Joker’s erratic breathing and after a few minutes when you look up from your screen… he’s gone.

2:16 pm

You didn’t search around for your boyfriend, but you probably should.

What is he up to?!

Nothing downstairs, so you’re headed upstairs now.

First two bedrooms: nothing.

Master bedroom: bingo.

Two duffel bags on the floor and the noises coming from the closet alert of his presence. J rushes out with clothes and ignores you, visibly distressed.

“What are you doing?” a confused Y/N shrieks.

“I’m leaving you!” J keeps folding the clothes and you mischievously snicker:

“Oh, are you? And where are you gonna go?”

“Anywhere but here!” he stacks pants and shirts on the bed, frustrated.

“Why are you leaving me, hm?” you sarcastically laugh, aggravated at his response.

“You’re mean to me!” he blows the green hair off his face; that mini-man-bun-thing is pretty useless.

“And?” you tap your fingers against your thighs, angered. “Deal with it!”

“I don’t deserve to be treated like this,” The Joker rubs his eyes and you kick one of the duffle bags with all you’ve got. It tips over and a bunch of toiletry items fly around, including a framed picture with the two of you.

He gets flustered and walks towards the door, but you’re faster and block the way out.

“I’m not taking anything then, you can keep it all!!” J pushes his woman but she won’t budge.

“Nobody leaves me!” you mumble through your clenched teeth, shocked he has such a nerve.

Well, it’s your nerve he has and there’s nothing that can be done until the curse wears off.

“Umm…You don’t own me Princess,” he gulps, anxious about what came out of his mouth.

You start laughing like crazy.

“Are you sure?” the laugh abruptly halts and you get in his face: he doesn’t know what to do, intimidated by your cold stare.

Lost puppy look, helpless and defenseless.

It lowers your merciless attack; it’s just too disarming, even if you have his personality.

You exhale, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“Hey, who’s my favorite blue eyed Pretzel, hm?”

“Me…” the pouted King reaffirms, skeptically kissing his terrible girlfriend.

“Wrong answer. I have other boyfriends on the side,” the spite returns and J’s heart shatters to tiny, minuscule, invisible pieces.

“You do?!”

“Yeap, you’re not all that, I told you before.”

His vision is getting blurry; J is about to pass out.

“I’m not the only one?!” the shaky voice musters a question.

“Ha! You wish,” you snicker, enjoying antagonizing a worried Joker.

And still…you feel compelled to throw him a bone.

“For a genius, you’re so stupid sometimes,” you whisper and roll your eyes.

“Am I?” he gulps, hoping you were joking when you said you have other boyfriends behind his back.

“You are, but you’re my stupid genius,” you slap his butt and give him a nudge towards the mess he created with his moving out project. “Clean that up and then come downstairs!”

4:51 pm

You’ve been watching TV for a couple of hours, your head resting on his shoulder.

“I want to have a baby,” you blur out and he holds his breath. “Plus, I’m horny and I want to have sex. Might as well try to make a baby,” the Queen’s indifferent tone hurts J’s feelings.

“This is not romantic, Pumpkin. I’m not an object, alright? You can’t use me like a piece of meat!”

“We’ll have a kid, it’s decided,” you continue, disregarding his speech.

“We can’t have a baby; my body will change. I work hard to be fit,” he tries to negotiate his way out of it.

“Your body will change?!” you dig your chin in his forearm. “I’ll be the pregnant one.”

“I know Princess, but it rubs on dads too.”

“I don’t care,” you take off the elastic that keeps together his mini-man-bun-thing, starting to unbutton his shirt. Not too much to do since only 4 buttons are buttoned. 

“Having a kid will make me feel old,” J whines, but unzips your dress nevertheless.

“You are old!” you bitterly underline. “Now try to concentrate so I won’t have to fake it again.”

His eyes get big.

“What do you mean…fake it? You…you fake it, babe?!” The King’s pride takes such a sudden, serious blow he’s about to lose consciousness.

“Duh, yeah! Sometimes you get soooooo enthusiastic and I’m just done: I want a fast wham-bam thank you ma’am, not a three hour tour de force.”

J stares at the ceiling, then at you, then back to the ceiling, then down at your cleavage, his crushed dignity making it impossible to differentiate between the thoughts running through his head.

Wow, he looks like a total mess. Should you do something about it?…The Joker’s difficult personality you enjoy for the day doesn’t give you too much to work with.

“I don’t fake it all the time,” you lift his chin up without any trace of emotion in your voice. “Just now and then, the rest is real.”

It sounds you’re reciting from a dull poem book.

“What’s wrong?” you try to guess because you want to have sex and he just switched off.

Maybe J took it personally?…How are you supposed to know since you possess his lovely temper?

“Listen here, Pretzel!” you lose your patience. “You’re good in bed, I’ll give you that. But it doesn’t mean you’re perfect. Deal with it and move on!”

Your speech doesn’t have the desired effect.

“I’m not…I’m not perfect?!” he mumbles in a trance.

“You’re not perfect, but you’re lucky you’re cute,” comes out of your mouth and his eyes light up:

“You think I’m cute?”

“Probably. There’s cuter out there but you’re my favorite average.”

“I am?” the silver teeth emerge from behind the innocent smile.

“U-hum,” you caress his face, displeased you have to say such sweet rubbish aloud.

“That’s the nicest thing somebody ever said to me,” The Joker sighs, more in love than ever.

For a few more hours that is, until the curse reverses.

“You didn’t call me Daddy today,” The Clown Prince of Crime gets the courage to bring up what’s been bothering him since this morning, believing he’s on steady ground.

“Don’t push it!” you admonish. “Why would I call you Daddy, hm? You’re not my father.”

J wants to fall back into his depression but you don’t give him time.

“But you’re my favorite blue eyed Pretzel,” you fastly add and he grins, very pleased to be the lucky recipient of his Queen’s quirky affection skills since she’s basically him for the duration of the day.

1:33 am

The sudden switch in your mind wakes you up: you have your personality back and The Joker also returned to the wonderful human being he is on a regular basis.

God help Gotham and his woman!

You have such a headache you keep on wiggling and it startles him. He opens one eye, not excited to be woken up by your fidgeting.

“What are you doing?” he growls, crabby beyond anything you can measure crabbiness with.

“I can’t sleep; sorry baby,” you cuddle to his chest and his hand slips in your underwear. Possessiveness is back full throttle so your butt gets groped and he shoves himself into you, blinded by jealousy.

“If you ever look at another man, I’ll kill you and your body will never be found!”

“I won’t,” you yawn, uncomfortable because he’s holding you so tight.

“Then who’s the blue eyed Pretzel, huh?” he sniffles your scent, antagonized.

“Who?!” you crinkle your nose, confused.

Once the curse ends, villains and their significant others don’t remember what they did or said for the time they switched personality. You only call J the blue eyed Pretzel one day a year and then both forget about it once the curse is gone, that’s why you have no clue what he’s talking about.

Somehow though that got stuck in the back of his mind this time around.

“Is that a code name?” you attempt to guess.

“You tell me, Y/N!!! Are you fucking around behind my back?” he accuses without any proof.

What else is new?!

“Of course not!” you pout, softly kissing his face all over, maybe you can calm down his insane ideas before they blow up. ”I only love you,” The Queen smiles and her King doubts:

“Are you sure?”

“I swear!” you pull down on his sweatpants, hopeful you can distract him from the crazy concepts with sex. “The blue eyed Pretzel sounds like a stupid nickname for an asshole I don’t even know,” you honestly explain.

The Joker purrs a bit, reckoning that after all, his woman wouldn’t dare cheating.

But it’s annoying the moniker popped in his brain!

That blue eyed Pretzel must be such a jerk for bothering Gotham’s royal couple with his insignificant presence!


End file.
